RECOGNIZING UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS
Have you ever felt drained after being around a certain person? Maybe you
feel like you're walking on eggshells trying to cater to their ever-changing
mood. Or for the most part, you have to go out of your way to explain your
actions to them so they can understand your good intentions. Maybe they say
they understand how you feel, but yet, their actions are contradicting. Whether
or not their behavior is deliberate, bottom line is: you feel drained when
you have to deal with them. Could it be that this relationship requires more
care and maintenance than you're prepared to give?
People with whom you surround yourself can make you, or break you. You may
have been led to believe that the longer the friendship, the better the friend.
Yet, that's not always the case. Yes, some friendships can be like fine wine-growing
in richness with time-but some, just aren't meant to have a very long shelf
life.
Recognize that regardless of how long you've been together, if it's an unhealthy
relationship, it can be a kind of toxic in your life; it can be a roadblock
in your life preventing you from moving ahead to where you want to go. And
if you allow it to continue, your mood will suffer in a way that not only
sacrifices your own well-being, but also the well-being of others around
you.
It can be hard to part ways with a friend or a partner, even when their behavior
warrants it. While betrayal or seemingly deliberate attempts to be hurtful
are clear signals that it's time to move on, sometimes the signal of the
end of a relationship isn't that obvious. Furthermore, sometimes an unhealthy
relationship can brew from two people who truly want to be kind to one another,
but somehow along the way, they ended up on different pages; they don't agree
with each other, and tension rises. This can be just as unhealthy. So what
do you do? I guess this is where you have to use your better jugement.
If after a fair amount of consideration, you feel strongly about maintaining
a relationship with this person, then be assertive and communicate honestly
with them about what is working and not working for you in the relationship.
Give it your all and kindly speak your truth, and allow them to do the same.
And after this, if you still don't see any progress, at least you know you
did your best and you wouldn't have left much room for regrets with "I should
have" or "I could have."
Leaving behind an unhealthy relationship is one of the best things you can
do for your well-being, as you make room for more positive, nurturing people
to enter your life. As they say: When one door closes, only then can another
door open.
In life, we'll all inevitably experience unhealthy relationships that challenge
our minds and hearts so we can learn and grow. So learn from it, grow from
it. But recognize when it is time to say goodbye.
As you move forward in life, continue to give that which you seek. If you
want relationships that enhance your life, help you to be your best, and
encourage your dreams, then, offer this kind of friendship to another person.
You'll get out of life what you put into it...always.
~ Susan Dossey
